Changes can challenge a veteran’s reintegration with their family. This may
occur following a deployment or as the service member transitions from active
service to civilian career. Both the family and veteran may find difficulty in finding
their place back in the family after being gone for some time. The following are
suggestion for veterans, spouses and family members.
Change is inevitable
As families, as individuals, we are always changing, growing and adapting to our
circumstances. This is even more noticeable following a major life transition
such as a career change, retirement or significant stressors, such as deployments. An expecting and accepting mindset is helpful for all family members to withstand
and navigate changes.
Communicate
Partners and children may seem like different people, and in many ways they
are. Take the time to talk as a family, discuss concerns and articulate needs
and expectations. Acknowledge emotions, including anger and sadness for missed occasions and milestones.
Renegotiate
Family rules and roles may have changed over the course of the Service Member’s
absence. Many spouses learn to function independently. As single parents they
were responsible for finances, decisions, and child discipline. It is normal for the
veteran to feel out of place, unneeded and unsure of how they fit back into their family.
Remain flexible and compromise on plans, decisions and routines.
Go slow
It can be tempting to make up for the lost time, but moving too fast can increase stress
levels for everyone. Ease into each of the relationships and become reacquainted
with each other.
